Is Charity Ever Truly Altruistic?

Charity is an interesting and often complicated topic. While the concept of giving freely to others is generally seen as a virtue, the motivations behind charitable acts can sometimes blur the line between selflessness and self-interest.

What is it to be Charitable?

I personally struggle with being charitable, not because I don’t want to give, but because I tend to overthink charity. What truly defines a charitable act? Is taking a friend out to lunch charitable if I know they will likely return the favor? Does exchanging Christmas gifts count as charity when gifts are also coming my way? What about helping a family member out of obligation rather than pure generosity—does that still count as charity? And what about high-profile philanthropists like Mr. Beast, who gives away vast sums of money but does so while filming for content, gaining clout and ad revenue in return? Is that genuine charity or a business model disguised as generosity?

Profession Bribes

Even small gestures of kindness can carry underlying motives. Take, for example, when a boss brings donuts to work. Is it a selfless act to brighten employees' mornings, or is it an attempt to boost morale and productivity? If there is an expectation of a return—whether in goodwill, loyalty, or harder work—can the gesture still be considered pure charity? It is quite common with multi-level marketing (MLM) to offer to get coffee to those they are trying to recruit. The free coffee creates a sense of obligation, making it harder for the person to say no to the sales pitch that follows. This tactic, known as reciprocity, is often used in business and marketing—small gifts or favors can subconsciously pressure people into giving something in return. When generosity has strings attached, is it truly generosity, or just another form of persuasion?

Foot-in-the-Door

This leads to an interesting parallel with a well-known sales technique called the Foot-in-the-Door Technique. This psychological principle works by getting someone to agree to a small, low-commitment request or by offering them something seemingly free—like a sample, trial, or small gift. Once they accept, they are more likely to reciprocate by making a larger purchase or commitment. Companies use this tactic all the time, from free samples in grocery stores to car dealerships offering free BBQs or show homes with food trucks. The reality is that nothing is truly free—these gestures are strategic moves to build a sense of obligation and increase the likelihood of a sale.

Pure Charity?

So, is charity ever truly without strings attached? Is it possible to give without any expectation of something in return, whether consciously or unconsciously? If you help mow your neighbor’s lawn, do you secretly hope they will return the favor one day? When a church provides service to a community, does it subtly hope the recipients will start attending services? Are all acts of generosity, to some degree, a psychological foot in the door?

Pursuit of Self Interest

In The Pursuit of Happyness, Chris Gardner, played by Will Smith, is struggling to get by, desperately trying to get ahead. While making cold calls, he comes across the name Jay Twistle, a stockbroker at Dean Witter Reynolds. He seizes the opportunity to connect with him, but was Chris truly interested in friendship, or was he simply trying to land a business opportunity? His relationship with Twistle may have been genuine, but at its core, it was driven by self-interest—Chris needed a break and saw Twistle as his way in. This raises an interesting question: Are our friendships like this? Do we primarily pursue relationships that offer us social status, opportunities, or personal gain? And is it wrong to be strategic about the friendships we cultivate, given that we can only maintain so many meaningful social connections? Ideally, friendships should involve mutual give and take, but it’s worth examining our motivations when new relationships present themselves.

True Charity

Perhaps the only truly charitable acts are those done anonymously. Charity should not be about recognition, praise, or having your name etched onto a plaque in a hospital to be immortalized. True charity is giving simply because you want to make the world a better place, without expecting anything in return. But is completely selfless giving even realistic? We are social creatures, naturally inclined to care for those within our sphere of influence. It makes sense that we would prioritize helping friends, family, or our local community over strangers we will never meet. After all, shouldn’t we lift where we stand?

If an act of generosity strengthens relationships, fosters goodwill, or brings personal fulfillment, does that make it any less meaningful? Perhaps having a slight ulterior motive—whether it’s the hope of reciprocity, the joy of making someone smile, or even the sense of purpose it brings—is not a flaw, but a fundamental part of human nature. Rather than striving for pure selflessness, maybe the better question is: does our giving make a positive impact? If the answer is yes, does it really matter why we gave?

Dave Ramsey, famous for his 7 Baby Steps, has his 7th step as "build wealth and give." Building wealth isn't the end game—it’s also about giving back. Life is too short not to give, and you cannot take your money with you when you die. Wealth and charity should go hand in hand because when you have wealth, you have the power to make a meaningful impact on the world.

The Many Forms of Charity

The great thing about charity is that it doesn’t have to involve money. Anyone can perform an act of service or offer words of affirmation. Your most valuable asset—your time—can also be given freely. You can channel your inner Ted Lasso, shower those around you with compliments, and give thoughtful, insightful gifts. As long as your intent is pure and you are not being manipulative with an ulterior motive, the sky is the limit on being a kind and generous human being.

At the end of the day, charity is a deeply personal act, and its meaning varies from person to person. The key is to reflect on our intentions and strive to give in ways that truly benefit others—without expectation of reward. So, what does charity mean to you?

If you found this helpful and would like help budgeting or investing please email me at taylormckeecoaching@gmail.com